Retarded E-mails – Satilight Hacking, Website Cloning, Detailo & More!

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It’s been a good 3 years since my last entry in this category and I’ve had a steady stream of retarded e-mails recently fit for posting. Plus I actually had 1-2 people e-mail me and tell me they missed the posts in the Retards category and that it always gave them a good laugh – so please could I post some more.

Retarded E-mails

So yah, here we are – let’s see what we’ve harvested from the crop this time around.

An evergreen classic, he really can’t download ‘the hacking tools’.

From: kj
Subject: hacking software

Message Body:
im still having trouble downloading the hacking tools..can you help where i can get this..
credit card wizard v.1.1
and for bank account..and money transfer software..damn im really me..

Another very common theme amongst these e-mails, that I seem to be some free resource for helping people to hack random stuff.

From: binshad
Subject: brutus

Message Body:
i need your help i want to bruteforce and i want to crack the password from a website using brutus ae2. i cannot able to configuare the brutus for that attack can you help me. its .aspx website dotnet.


From: Ras Wayne

Message Body:


Free cash, what does that even mean? Surely if cash is free it has no intrinsic value – wait, is that too deep?

From: jemma
Subject: cash fast

Message Body:
how to get free cash fas

Er what? I guess the answer is yes, but that’s because I don’t really understand the question.

From: marijan
Subject: question

Message Body:
is it possible to hack a usb modem to hack mobile internet. its a huawei k3520 model

If you need to hack a college/uni to get in, you should perhaps be thinking about vocational qualifications.

From: Akinsola

Message Body:
Which tool can i use to hacking a website, to give me admission into their institution

This guy sounds reasonably articulate, which makes the fact he wants to completely rip off someone elses hard work even sadder. He included his whole home address, phone number, fax number and name.

From: Kip
Subject: Building a new website – copying from an existing website.

Message Body:
Building a new website – copying from an existing website.

I have a question: Is there a way to extract the username and password of a hosted website? Can someone copy a website on their computer, (without having the username and password). Then edit it and make it in a completely new website with their name and details, and changes. And then publish it with a new hosting.
The idea is to take the help and advantage of the built in coding.
I want to duplicate the formula of some successful money making websites. Please tell me if this is possible. Kindly help.

All .zip downloads with passwords have the passwords CLEARLY stated in the post. If you can’t read, you probably shouldn’t be trying to hack stuff.

From: Abdirizak
Subject: I need your help

Message Body:

I am hereby want to help me your tools is restricted by password please tell me.

I want to learn in the detailo too.

From: Ronnie

Message Body:
How can I learn Hacking in detailo???Please mail me…..

This one is just strange.

From: Semy Chan
Subject: ORDER

Message Body:
Dear sir

I’m very interest with your product. I’d like buy some of your product,

but before I order from you I want ask something:

– Do you accept credit card payment ?

– Could you dispatch to singapore ?

and i want buy :

-CTEK Multi XS 25000 Battery Chargers QTY: 15 Unit

Please calculate total cost my order including shipping cost via
fedex Express ,DHL or UPS EXPRESS ship to singapore, Looking forward
hearing from you soon.

Best regards

Man this satilight sure does sound like fun.

From: vijay
Subject: satilight hacking

Message Body:
i want satilight hacking software.and mobile hacking software.

Well Sue, thanks for letting me know.

From: Sue
Subject: Google Chrome

Message Body:
I had to uninstall it because my facebook got hacked through it and couldn’t make any security changes until I uninstalled it.

I would hazard a guess this has to do with our Elevator Hacking post, but I think he missed the point somewhat.

From: Fon Abumbi
Subject: Elevator Lift:

Message Body:
I am looking for a company that is capable of supplying large quantity of Passengers Elevator Lifts to the republic of Cameroon.

For sure, want me to come over and pre-digest your food for you as well?

From: youngkizzy
Subject: need full hacking tutorial sent to my mail.

Message Body:
pls i will like you to mail me full hacking tutorial in pdf format, pls i in haste to see your reply….Thanks

Well just because you asked and it will make you seriously LOL.

From: SlyTheGod
Subject: Retards?

Message Body:
Sorry to bother you, but I have been looking through your “retards” section and saw some questionable stuff. If you are so sure something is retarded, what is your example of a non-retarded question? If you don’t want us to ask you how to hack, then what do you want us to send you? Why do you even have a “contact us” section? Would it be “retarded” to ask how to sql inject into a site? If you put this as a retarded question I will seriously LOL.

I have the Contact Darknet page for people to send me news articles and tool information/updates not for nob-end skiddies to ask me how to sql inject into a site. Basically, don’t use the contact form to ask me any questions unless it’s something along the lines of “How much does it cost to advertise on your site?”.

I’m fine with questions along those lines. It actually states on the Contact Darknet page, exactly in explicit terms why it exists:

Drop us a line here if you have an interesting story or article to share, tool updates and announcements are most welcome – especially if you have something new you would like to share with our readers.

This selection was from January-October 2011, more here – Retards.

Posted in: Retards

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7 Responses to Retarded E-mails – Satilight Hacking, Website Cloning, Detailo & More!

  1. Xtina October 10, 2014 at 11:30 pm #

    Damn, if I’d known you had an entire category with that ableist slur, I wouldn’t’ve bothered reading.

    • Darknet October 11, 2014 at 12:45 am #

      You must be American.

  2. noyse October 10, 2014 at 11:42 pm #

    Hi sir,
    first, very good job! I read your blog everyday and it’s full of useful and detailed stuff
    second, can you pdf-me your credit cards numbers as well as your whole family and could you be nice to don’t forget first and second name, ordinated with rows and coloums??? please??
    You know, I need to hack! And I’m sure that if you have a “contact me” link means that you must answer me… with smart words, obv… lol or not so lol???!?

    greatings from italy ;)

    • Darknet October 11, 2014 at 12:44 am #

      dearest sirs, i am outputting the format of the pdf now, it will be deliverreding shortly.

      • noyse October 11, 2014 at 5:47 pm #

        well done sir, well done….
        thanks for all ;)
        Have a nice day!!

  3. Bruno October 13, 2014 at 5:33 am #

    Very nice post!

    This one made me laugh a lot!
    Very stupid retards and script kiddies, they fail on education.

    All right, keep up the good work!

  4. Lithium October 30, 2014 at 8:55 am #

    Absolute comedy gold.