Retarded E-mails – Damn Interested Hacking, Paid Server Indian Web, Love Hashing & More

Cybertroopers storming your ship?


It’s been a while since I’ve added a post to my beloved Retards category (almost a year and a half), since I put the disclaimer and link on the contact page – I’ve actually had a lot less retarded e-mails.

Which is good in a way as I no longer have to waste my time reading them, and bad in a way because I no longer get to laugh at people on a daily basis. Anyway, I still get some – so here they are for your viewing pleasure :)

Ok let’s start off with a classic example..of something I barely understand.

From: patrick
Subject: hi

Message Body:
master is ur window 7 ultimate still on for sale….and how do u I learn this hacking of a stuff…i dam interested…

Oh sorry what? I think you misunderstood the topic of this site.

From: PAM
Subject: program

Message Body:
i need to know what program to download to be able to use our digital dictation recorder

Right ok, I’ll get to work on the Paid Server Indian Web immediately and also write a system to remind you of your own password..

From: phillips
Subject: hi,

Message Body:
pls guys kindly give me a tutorail on how to creat a paid server indian web by myself,and also i forget my computer password and any time i want to on it ,it will be rwquesting for password which i dont know it again,bros what can i do.

Love hashing ya, xx

From: Nita
Subject:

Message Body:
Hi :) My name is Nita and I joined this site for hashing a password,I just don’t know where to hash it.Can someone help me? :)

Byee,Love ya x

Random spacing (check)
Missing letters (check)
Random capitalization (check)

From: FieriHack
Subject: its posible

Message Body:
its posible to find an adres passwd off FAcebook
please P.m to me

Ok you ask me to contact you ‘securely’ but you mail me from a Yahoo! address, no PGP key, no hushmail account…nothing..

From: Soulis
Subject: Question

Message Body:
Please contact me securely.
Thanks


And an old classic thrown in for good measure – the cheating spouse.

From: Kesavan
Subject: Hi

Message Body:
Please, please help me I need a password for a yahoo account…
The password concerned is my life partner for 15 years and I know he is cheating on me…I just need proof to confront him, I did confront him, he treathened to kill me if I carry on asking him about him having affairs…
If you can his email accounts are
xxx@yahoo.com
xxx@textiles.co.za

I would really appreciate it…
Thanks

Is it possible? Yah probably, but you need a brain first.

From: kanan
Subject: Texas Hold em Poker

Message Body:
IS Hacking Zynga Poker possible,add chips or view table cards?

There seems to be more and more Facebook based requests nowadays – here’s another one..

From: felix
Subject: facebook password

Message Body:
I am being falls accused by an impostor using my name, i cannot stop her from spreading news al over my family and friends saying bad words about me. its getting worst.

please help.

felix

I believe what you are looking for is called “A Job” accompanied by “A Credit Card” you scumbag.

From: Blacksheepbo
Subject: Hacking Software

Message Body:
I am looking for a software that will hack into a website like adultfriendfinder or xxxblackbook and allow you to have a free gold or silver membership. Whats out there that will do that or come close?

This selection is from November 2010 – January 2011…I have tons more, will post them soon :)


Posted in: Retards

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5 Responses to Retarded E-mails – Damn Interested Hacking, Paid Server Indian Web, Love Hashing & More

  1. Fred Dogg April 1, 2011 at 11:57 am #

    Pure Gold. I feel for you and your inbox.
    Perhaps next time go over some malware that has been fired your way?

    Byee,Love ya x

  2. rv April 1, 2011 at 2:20 pm #

    Hilarious. Would a CAPTCHA in the form of math problem or some kind of common sense question deter these fools?

  3. hallo April 5, 2011 at 8:48 pm #

    I just wanted to let you know that your typo before the last email quote makes you sound like one of them.

  4. Keith April 6, 2011 at 4:10 am #

    Should have told Blacksheepbo there was a program that would get him a free Copper membership…

  5. dd April 13, 2011 at 3:20 pm #

    idiots