19 May 2009 | 10,754 views

Retarded E-mails – Brute Force, Change School Grades, Hack US Military & MORE

Cybertroopers storming your ship?

It’s been a few months since the last Retard Update, and it’s definitely been slower since I posted the disclaimer and link on the Contact Page.

There have been some weird ones, one worders, one liners and stuff in foreign languages.

Anyway let’s get started with a classic ‘script-kiddy I can’t operate my computer‘ type mail.

lloyd wrote:
hey i would like to know how to use brute force pleese

I have absolutely no idea what this means, can someone tell me if it’s retarded? I assume it’s Spanish.

fabricio wrote:
eu quero jogar este jogo

This guys thinks he’s smart, puts other people down in his first sentence then proceeds to do exactly the same thing. Learning how to spell might be a good start.

Manner Pavis wrote:
I understand that a majority of people who contact you have stupid and idiotic questions asking “How do I access myspace at school?” Well I could care less about any of that bull shit. I would just really like to know how to change my grades or how to become an administrator on my schools computer, any help would
be REALLY apriciated. I REALLY want to do this. So if you can tell me how to change my grades or become an administrator(without purchasing any hardware or software(unless it’s completeley neccasary))then it would be very much apriciated.

Any cyberterrorists for hire?

Pat wrote:
Hi, I have a big problem to find somone really good hacker that can help me, I’m looking for an hacker that can help me to hack into the US miletary, it maby sounds redicules but it is verry important, so please can you help me? or do you know enyone else that can help me??

Anyone have any idea at all what he’s on about?

peter davsion wrote:
darknet admin,

i have looked for the registration of the website and could not find it and i was wondering does it have one ???

and if so could you tell me were to register with the website if you can as it has a lot of good advice rather than forums and a lot more detialed ionformation on it well recomend it to anybody excellent website

Use what, what password?

justin wrote:
every time i use it is says password and i dont know what it is

*Yawn* another cheating spouse?

ken wrote:

i am very interested on your skills
i know that you are a very intelligent man.to go straight to the point.i need a favor,someone like you that has the knowledge of the internet.i am a father of 3 children and i am married for 8yrs. my wife cheated on us.if you could help me figure out,this problem of mine.i need an evidence about the whereabouts of my
wife,using her email.i want to know how to hack her email ad.to find out what was her plan for my kids.she abandon all my kids with me.this is the only way that i could get some evidence from her emails.i don’t want to go empty handed.last year she fooled us and went to her guy..without a trace.if you can
help me with this,i would be happy together with my kids.
i really need your help
if you can pass through her yahoo mail and know the password that would be my evidence in the court..
thanks and more power to you!!!

There’s a never ending stream of people that seem to think I’m some kind of mentor too, what’s up with that?

eyes rutherford wrote:
i am not an aspiring password cracker or future convict, i am a young individual who is willing to learn about computer science and security. I promise to utilize anything you teach me within the confines of the law, i am not out to get anyone or anything, please consider my request. thank you for your time.

This needs no description.

ERAGON wrote:

School grade hacking is ever-popular too, can’t you guys just study like everyone else? And yah, I’m REAL sure you wont change your grades.

JB wrote:
Hi, i got this school website ( where all the grades and shit are collected ) and i need to hack it.
could you tell me some about lining up like, 4-5 proxies? no worry, Im not gonna ask you to hack it or something, I’ll fix the md5 hash myself. and no, i do not have plans to change my grades.


Erm ok.

dipesh wrote:
i want lern hack(security testing perpose.)

pls give a replay

And of course this post can’t be complete without a Facebook hacking request!

Robert Tait wrote:
Hi, I am quite a fan of your site. I need to know how to hack Facebook or a console. is there a tool I can use, or can I pay someone from Darknet to hack for me?


Keep an eye on the retards here:



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19 Responses to “Retarded E-mails – Brute Force, Change School Grades, Hack US Military & MORE”

  1. Pantagruel 19 May 2009 at 11:35 am Permalink

    Agree, it used to be funny to read all the request.
    Nowadays it’s become bothersome, everyone wants the easy way out.
    They do not seem to be willing to acquire the skill but want to be ‘l33t’ without breaking a sweat.

    If you want accomplish anything in live(nice grades in school, good job, etc), learn and master your art!

  2. Number 2 19 May 2009 at 11:47 am Permalink

    Wasn’t there a post a couple of days ago about a utility for controlloing facebook accounts? Did that person even check the archives?

  3. Mat 19 May 2009 at 12:44 pm Permalink

    Wow… I’ve been following darknet for over a year now and it never occurs to me that people would even think of contacting the staff with such request. I guess I’m naive.

    Oh, but can you help me hack myface.com ? ;)

    Keep up the good work. I really enjoy the news / tools reviews on your site.


  4. nubanx 19 May 2009 at 1:08 pm Permalink

    lol – always a riot to read these.

    So, in summation, go straight to point, hacking the “us miletary” it maby sounds redicules, but i wont change my grades. please replay. how to use bruteforce please replay. i’d apricate it. wife cheated on me, if u can pass through her yahoo, her password will be my evidence in court.

    Apparently they miss the line directly under the title that reads
    “Don’t Learn to Hack, Hack to Learn.”

  5. dblackshell 19 May 2009 at 1:16 pm Permalink

    hey I have an idea, why won’t you collect their IP Addresses and after 3-4 months of collecting you do a statistic of retardation/country. :)

  6. OldR4ver 19 May 2009 at 1:39 pm Permalink

    eu quero jogar este jogo is Portuguese and means:

    “I want to play this game”

    Depending on which game he is talking about would determine the level of retardation.

  7. David 19 May 2009 at 2:30 pm Permalink

    I think fabrizio is Brazilian and he’s talking about footbal :)

  8. geek.4.fun 19 May 2009 at 2:55 pm Permalink

    this is so full of win lol.

  9. stephan 19 May 2009 at 4:25 pm Permalink

    A bit of humor is always good!

  10. Dan 19 May 2009 at 5:20 pm Permalink

    You know, I never really been bothered too much by people that are spelling and grammar challenged. But damn these read like Bush got ahold of a computer and the internets!!

    The stupidity and ignorance of the general population of this planet should never really come as a shock to me. But it has it’s moments. :-P

  11. Calvin 19 May 2009 at 11:12 pm Permalink

    Hah! Who gives a fuck about breaking into the U.S. Military? I don’t, that would really land you in the slammer. I just have 3 targets and I am willing to go through alot of training. All I want is to deface websites and get passwords.

  12. meh 20 May 2009 at 6:29 am Permalink

    You post links to other peoples tools. Not very fast either. So makes you so great? What letters precede your name? I bet it’s because you have some hack by numbers, certificates. Your mom is very proud but she’d like you to remember, there’s always someone smarter. Don’t be mean to people.

  13. HyPnOtIcHaCkEr 20 May 2009 at 11:36 am Permalink

    I lol’d.

  14. cbrp1r8 20 May 2009 at 2:32 pm Permalink


  15. Dan 20 May 2009 at 3:09 pm Permalink

    I think meh needs a hug, or a slap can’t figure out which.

  16. Anonymous 20 May 2009 at 5:39 pm Permalink

    geek.4.fun, meh, you’re in the wrong place. GTFO.

    Dan, He needs to an hero.

  17. pok2 20 May 2009 at 7:58 pm Permalink


    que manga de pelotudos xD

    lol, they are really stupid xD

  18. frankie 28 June 2009 at 9:57 am Permalink

    haha, this was some good reading. I love retards, they have the great ability of making others look good.

  19. Jaun Millalonco 1 July 2009 at 8:24 pm Permalink

    Excellent YouTube post ! thanks for sharing. I’ll be adding your blog to my reader.