04 December 2008 | 64,262 views

Retarded E-mails – Crack Hotmail? Hack Facebook? Boyfriend Cheating?

Don't let your data go over to the Dark Side!

I get a lot of these e-mails, sometimes I receive them almost every day. I had a thought the other day, it might be amusing if I shared them with you guys.

So I’ll post them up every time I receive 2-3. I’ve had a LOT of these kind of e-mails and some spooky ones too offering money for some dodgy hacking activities.

These are pretty much the most common, Facebook/Yahoo/Hotmail hacking requests based on the exscuse of a cheating boyfriend or girlfriend.

Amanda wrote:
My boyfriend accessed his facebook and yahoo account from my computer yesterday. I had cleared the cookies before he got on. How do I determine what his passwords are for those based on the cookies? I think he is cheating. The cookies show where it says “www.facebook.com” and then there are a bunch of numbers and a few letters I think. Please help.

I get a hell of a lot like this too which are basically gibberish.

samuel wrote:
i want to kwon how to hacke and also link me with great hachers.

This one is just plain stupid? If it’s too good to be true – it’s not true.

zam wrote:
Can anyone help me to crack or guide he how to crack hotmail.Cause i had been cheated by this china supplier via msn regarding iphone and what i received is fake iphone. i wish i could stop her by cracking her msn. Her email is openworld2008@hotmail.com .Please help me!!

More e-mail hacking..

alvink wrote:
I am desperately in need to hack an email. I dont need to know how to hack but I
just need to stop that email from functioning.

Are u able to do something? I really hope you are able to help me with this.


Someone who wants to partake in Phishing but is too stupid to work it out, he’s even retarded enough to tell me he’s a spammer.

Albert wrote:
please,am a freebie spammer,i need help to hack into people’s Bank of America’s accountor Chase….i need you to give me full details on how i could go about this.. Someone told me i should send a mail to mislead citizens into filling in their Bank of America’s detail on a web-page i should create..they’ll assume they’re verifying their accounts not knowing they are falling prey to spam…please,i dont know how to create this links and mail…please,guide me on what to do….i’ll appreciate that…
hackers forever!!

I think he has no idea what hackers really do. More of the same.

thihamintun wrote:
i want to webmail heack 2.3 software
can u fine me
our country not download this
so can u post me this software
Thank u

Now I’m a credit card provision service too?

Loraine wester wrote:
Helo Sir
I need information regarding where to get credit cards ….


Some of these scare me, some worry me and some are just plain funny. More coming soon (this is just a small percentage of what I’ve received in the last month or so).

I’ve made a new category for these special breed of idiots called Retards – so you’ll be able to check the archives out there.


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32 Responses to “Retarded E-mails – Crack Hotmail? Hack Facebook? Boyfriend Cheating?”

  1. blomf 4 December 2008 at 11:54 am Permalink

    heavens forbid any of these folk lernz to spell… I just grateful that on current form none of them will be able to type email addresses in correctly.

  2. Pantagruel 4 December 2008 at 2:03 pm Permalink


    Indeed bewildered and bemused to read about the blatant inquiries for help on illegal subjects.

    Let me be a good sport and share the 3v1L kn0wL3dg3 0f h4ck1n’ ;)

    -1 You don’t even need to know leetspeak, go to ioyu.com/io/javascript/l33t.asp and let all you bud’s know how |_337 U R!

    (btw this will NOT mask for any spelling erro’s)

    -2 After you’ve mastered typing this url browse to http://www.amazon.com/Hacking-Dummies-Kevin-Beaver/dp/076455784X and buy it with your mum’s c-card (remember you’ve so far been too dumb to get someone elses cc data). Now comes the difficult part, get atleast a 6-pack of jolt/dew/whatever and READ the book (no cheatin’, browsin’ is NO readin’ 8) )

    -3 Well done, you’ve made it this far!, you’ll get a + for persistence which you’ll need for the future cause as anyone will tell you: There is no easy way, you’ll have to get low, down and dirty if you want to really know the trade.

  3. Sage 4 December 2008 at 2:39 pm Permalink

    I actually love reading this stuff.
    I would actually like to see what kind of people these and what they’re thinking when they ask.

    Can’t they learn themselves and is there any need to “Hack/crack”?

  4. lars 4 December 2008 at 3:06 pm Permalink

    The phishing-guy is great…

    It’s people like him that actually click the “Please confirm your account data” links in phishing mails ;)

  5. cbrp1r8 4 December 2008 at 4:05 pm Permalink

    lol funny stuff….

    kin I getz hack3r skillz?

  6. sugakushuto 4 December 2008 at 7:39 pm Permalink

    You see these all the time in chat rooms and irc all the time too. Fairly amusing what guides these people to find “wizards” and have them make “magic” hacks for them to use.

    ps, I love the feedblitz notifications, keep the stories coming!!

  7. Darknet 4 December 2008 at 8:34 pm Permalink

    Haha I thought you guys might appreciate these, I’ve got tonnes more. I deleted a lot though cos they were just too stupid.

  8. Brooks 4 December 2008 at 9:00 pm Permalink

    Hello Darknet Admin(s),

    I have a problem and I was hoping you could help. A few years ago the U.S. government passed this thing called the Partiot Act. I need you to hack them and get rid of it. Your assistance is greatly appreciated. THANKS YOU!

  9. eM3rC 5 December 2008 at 12:36 am Permalink

    Wow this is a great post :P

    Looking forward to the stuff your gonna add to this!

    A really sad example of this is the Raymond CC blog on almost every post… It’s always people saying stuff like the things listed above.

    Good to be back :D

  10. FlashPratt 5 December 2008 at 3:30 am Permalink

    Hilarious! I can’t get enough of your posts.

    …now I’m going to go get wasted and pretend there are still some intelligent people in the world…

  11. brett 5 December 2008 at 4:38 am Permalink

    Love it. I’m guessing you get a lot of idiots telling you to do X, Y, or Z or they’ll C&D/sue/”take legal action against”/”report you to the authorities” you. If you have many of those they’d be great to see as well, as they’re always hilarious (if a little infuriating on the receiving end).

  12. d347hm4n 5 December 2008 at 9:14 am Permalink

    This is nearly as funny as the posting on the pirate bay of all of their bullshit legal correspondences that they get!

  13. Asif 5 December 2008 at 10:42 am Permalink

    Lol too funny stuffs :)

    laughed out Loud ;D

    w8ing for updates in “Retards”

  14. LMAO 5 December 2008 at 11:21 am Permalink

    hope you post more of those emails :P

  15. Little Johny 5 December 2008 at 2:07 pm Permalink

    funnies post ever :D

    enjoyed it !


  16. Tom 5 December 2008 at 8:57 pm Permalink

    I’m offended by the fact that you’re using “Retards” as a name of one of your sections.

    I’m actually half-retarded, so this is highly offensive.

  17. Pantagruel 6 December 2008 at 8:49 am Permalink

    @Tom welcome to the human race, there will always be a reason for someone or some group of people to feel offended. Have fun scanning all sites using retard or any derivative of the word and spend your remaining live feeling offended.

    But perhaps you’re rigth, dimwit sounds far better

  18. efk 6 December 2008 at 4:36 pm Permalink

    Looks like the average IRC channel these days.

  19. FlashPratt 6 December 2008 at 5:48 pm Permalink

    Tom, the term is supposed to be offensive.

  20. Morgan Storey 7 December 2008 at 12:29 am Permalink

    Damn funny post Darknet.
    I have gotten a couple of these emails in the past too, help me hack my boyfriends phone/im/mail. I have never kept them though. I do like the spammer who is trying to get some advice.

  21. sharp 7 December 2008 at 7:31 am Permalink

    Ahhhh women, never trustworthy and always childish.

    “Plox halp me hax bf kthxbai.”

  22. Morgan Storey 7 December 2008 at 9:05 am Permalink

    I wouldn’t say that about all women, like I wouldn’t about all men. But yes the two that have contacted me have pruported to be women, of course for all I know they could have been men, or feds or whatever.
    The phrase goes, all Men on the internet are ugly nerds, all women are men, and all kids are FBI agents.

  23. log0 8 December 2008 at 11:51 am Permalink

    I almost burst out laughter with my tea.

    I can’t believe there are such emails out there. =) You gotta get a section up…

    Well, I guess these ppl aren’t native speakers huh? hah..

  24. aG 8 December 2008 at 6:26 pm Permalink

    And just like that, DarkNet goes out of my RSS feed. Who do you think you are? Attrition? I expect that from them because that’s who they are, but you post articles on your site intending to help people (Don’t learn to hack, hack to learn; sound familiar) then you turn around and publicly humiliate them? That’s low, very low.

    When you run a site like this, those kind of emails should be expected from the get go. You should either ignore them, or for the more serious ones explain to them the illegal nature of what they are seeking. There are many ways you can handle these types of email, but public humiliation should not be one of them.

    Congratulations, you’ve now turned your site into a junior high recess.

  25. cji 8 December 2008 at 8:47 pm Permalink

    For about 8 years worth of these kinds of emails, check out Attrition’s Going Postal section:


  26. s3c b3n 11 December 2008 at 6:49 am Permalink

    You can make a good income from the idiots who want to hack into other peoples machines :)

    I dont think cheating bastards like this is wrong…

  27. River 27 January 2009 at 10:49 pm Permalink

    s3cb3n.. what about the cheating cunts dont they kinda deserve to be caught? anyway take both sides, not interest in a million emails from you now please.

  28. FlashPratt 28 January 2009 at 5:54 pm Permalink

    And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a failed attempt at being a smart@$$.

  29. kashgar 31 January 2009 at 2:08 am Permalink

    hi there, i need you to hack my email account just because i forgot the password, and then i reinstalled the windows xp, what is even worse is that means i also lost my backup gmail password to this account. i called both Microsoft and Google but both of their offices are still closed because it is Chinese New Year. I can not work without my gmail account and MSN contacts, please, anyone can help me please write me at my newly-registered MSN account Kashgar@live.cn

    Dennis Chu

  30. Morgan Storey 31 January 2009 at 6:33 am Permalink

    hahah and a tard posts in the comments exactly in the way are making fun of… hillarious.

  31. crackr 5 May 2009 at 5:49 pm Permalink

    webmail hack software is a lie… i tried it aftr disconnecting from internet…then it showed me a password.

  32. David 19 May 2009 at 10:11 pm Permalink


    You need a sense of humor my friend. Why so serious?